There was a time in my life I avoided the hard, the messy, what didn’t feel good. I simply removed myself from the conversation, the situation, sometimes (though I’m sad to say) even the relationship. Some things I tried to fix. But for the most part, I just didn’t know how to be with what I considered the bad emotions: anger, frustration, sorrow. At least not in a healthy way. So, I avoided them at all costs.
I still do at times. I’m prone to turn away from the difficult or frustrating, the messy and mundane. My pastor recently said something like that. He mentioned that we humans have a knack for avoiding conflict. Then he reminded us that God actually moves towards conflict.
This is the Gospel story. We were created to live in perfect relationship with our Creator, but along the way it got messy and messed-up. We turned away from each other and God. We still do.
God could have
washed his hands of us
avoided all the pain of our broken relationship
and recreated what was intended in the beginning
or worse
left us to our own demise.
God could have but didn’t.
Instead
God moved toward us.
Entered the world a vulnerable, helpless infant.
Lived in the very flesh he created.
Was rejected
mocked
wounded.
And eventually sacrificed
to redeem
the messy and messed up.
My pastor’s right. God moves toward, and it’s the next part of the sermon that challenged me. Is still challenging me. He asked, “What does it look like for you to do the same? to move toward instead of turn away?” This question has infiltrated so many areas of my life.
Like when I’m frustrated with another and want to walk away, or the conversation isn’t going the way I want… What does moving toward look like?
Maybe it’s the sorrow of the one grieving
the turmoil of divorce
the aftermath of illness
the anger of the wounded.
Or perhaps it’s the waiting
the memory I wish I could forget
the grudge held onto
the mistake I can’t undo
the thing I just can’t fix.
In all of these, I wonder… What does moving toward look like?
The answers I’ve noticed don’t always look like I expected. They require more than I have to give.
More love
more tenacity
more humility
more perseverance
more surrender
more forgiveness
more grace
Yet this is the Gospel story too. Because when God moves towards us, we are invited to open the door and welcome him in. Into our lives, our hearts, our messy and messed-up.
No more depending on our own strength,
no more attempting to fix ourselves or others,
no more trying to clean up the mess.
The more I need now lives within, and in the power of Grace I can move towards again and again.
Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Galatians 2:20 MSG
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