There are moments in life that turn your world upside down in the blink of an eye. It’s been one of those seasons around here, like years of a season filled with hard. And just when things begin to settle, I find myself asking, Lord… could we have a year of easy? I’m not joking, I literally prayed those exact words. Because I’m tired of hard and struggle, of pain and grief, of watching those I love suffer. I want smooth sailing and calm waters. I want to live on Easy Street.

Not to mention, I had plans for 2026. Plans to live a little slower, spend moments holding my new grandboy while awaiting the birth of another. Plans to care for my family, play my new favorite game with a few friends, and travel with my parents. I thought I would tackle some of the projects I’ve been wanting to finish and perhaps pursue the certification that’s been drawing me over the past few years.

I keep thinking of his words when he shared the hard news. “This was not in my plan.” I shake my head and hug him tight, “Me either. This wasn’t in our plan, but it’s the plan we have for now.”

Still, on the inside I’m reeling, wondering what in the world God is up to. How is this God’s good plan for us? My word for the year echoes, be satisfied.

I’m not quite sure how to be satisfied with what feels like chaos, and I do not understand. I prayed for easy, and the Lord answered No, or at least Not yet. I don’t understand.

I just don’t understand.

It’s one of those phrases that drives us to study, dig deeper, and research all the possibilities. It’s as if understanding might build faith, but my morning devotional begs to differ.

Not everything makes sense straight away. Sometimes faith has to wait for understanding to catch up. Faith demands patience. And sometimes it takes a very long time.

_{Iswe Nikosi, Lectio 365}

At this point, I’m thinking it will take a lifetime. Because there’s so much I just don’t understand. I can’t count the times I ask, Lord, what are you doing? What are you up to? How in the world does this make sense?

It doesn’t. At least not in the way I want it to make sense. Truth is, I don’t have the capacity to understand God’s plan. Nor do I really know what’s best for me or the ones I hold dear. I like to think I do, but I don’t.

I have it upside down. Understanding doesn’t lead to faith. Faith leads to understanding. Not the kind that connects the dots of life’s circumstances or makes sense out of broken.

Faith is letting go of understanding and choosing to be satisfied with what is. It is trusting that Adonai is always working something good.

And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

_{Romans 8:27-30 NLT}

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Oh friend, are you in a season of hard too? I invite you to consider the following scriptures that I am leaning on in this season. May you discover God’s presence, power, and provision through the coming days.

• Psalm 34
• Proverbs 29:25
• Isaiah 41:8-10