The conversation with my cousin came down to the question that bubbled up in me.
“What’s the bottom line?”
She paused for a moment and said, “Well… it’s gotta hurt a little.”

I love this about her. She won’t sugar coat what her passion requires. There’s no apologizing for being honest about what it will take. She’s familiar with the idea that growth of any kind hurts a little… sometimes a lot.

Her comment returns again and again. It reminds me of the time King David decided to take a census. to count all the people in Israel. Some warned David this might not be a good idea. Yet he persisted. It took over nine months of hard work to complete the task. Nine months of travel and money… time and energy. A large investment that amounted to knowing the number of people in the kingdom.

Soon after the work was complete David’s conscience began to bother him. Counting the people was not something God wanted. It was what David wanted. It cost him dearly. It cost his people dearly too.

David’s repentance required a place of worship and sacrifice. He knew the exact place and went to purchase the land from its owner. Yet, the owner didn’t want money. He wanted to give David all that was needed to build the altar and make the atoning sacrifice. David responded.

I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing.
_{2 Samuel 24:24 AMP}

My cousin is right. Growth of any kind is going to hurt a little. cost us something.

It’s a hard pill to swallow. Because I want Easy Street, rose garden days with as little stress as possible.

I’m not quite sure why David wanted to count the people. Maybe the number would give him the confidence he needed to call himself king. Perhaps it provided him a sense of security to know he had an army of people to defend his kingdom. Is it possible the number brought some kind of comfort he was seeking?

In the end, knowing the number of people did not supply a bit of comfort, security, or worth. What it did do is bring David, the man after God’s own heart, to a new understanding. He learned a sacrifice must cost something.

What does this all mean for me? in the world where I live? where we no longer sacrifice burnt offerings on altars built of stone?

I may not count people in my kingdom, but I do count other things. Things like productivity, dollars, and accolades. There are moments I look to the world for comfort. I like comfy clothes, and a perfect 68 degrees when I’m sleeping in the hot Texas summer. I find security in a well-planned schedule, and having all my ducks in a row. I am prone to depend on the opinions of others. It’s hard to admit, but I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Sanctifying grace took a life.
A perfectly lived life
beaten and broken
nailed to a cross
buired in a tomb.

We cost God everything. He didn’t pay the high price so that I can make my home on Easy Street. or live a trouble free life. It was a sacrifice of eternal perspective. One that allows me to enter God’s presence and grow. to be transformed and made new. And while salvation is God’s free gift to us, in my experience sanctification almost always requires surrender. A letting go of me for more of Him. A yielding of my will and way that often hurts.

In my cousin’s words. “It’s gotta hurt a little.”

In David’s words, “I’m not going to offer God, my God, sacrifices that are no sacrifice.”

I hope these words will somehow bring you a bit of encouragement. Especially when it feels as if the surrender is more than you can afford, and you feel like running. When it seems all of life is troubled and hard.

May you know, really know, God is right there with you. May your eyes be opened to the great cloud of witnesses cheering you on from heavenly realms. May you discover transformation in the places where it hurts a little… and a lot.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.
_{Hebrews 12:1-2 NRSVUE}