Let’s do a little recap.

A few weeks ago I encouraged you to pay attention in your moments of unexpected silence and ask yourself a few questions.

The questions came with a warning. A prompting to be prepared for what might happen when you consider your answers. How it usually leads to letting go. to surrendering more and more. to recognizing that wrestling with the hard of surrender is a life long journey.

If it were possible I would ask you this next question over a steaming latte in a local coffee shop. We would catch up on how life’s going, what we’ve been up to since the last time we talked.

In the pause of small talk I would lean in a little and gently ask, “How’s it going with finding balance in your life?” or maybe “What’s happening with you when your world is silent?” Even more to the point, “What is God asking you to surrender?”

I can imagine your response because I’ve given a few myself. You might change the subject with the flip of your hand and reply, “I don’t have time for silence or prayer right now. I am way too busy,” or “I don’t really feel like answering.”
Or
you might look me straight in the eyes and whisper,
“Yeah. I ‘ve asked the questions.
I know I’m a bit off balance.
I recognize my tendency to turn to a screen or shopping or my next adventure is a sad attempt to soothe my discontent.
I hear God nudging me to let go of it, but I’m not sure how. I’ve tried, but it keeps returning.
The thing is… I have no idea what to do about it.
or how to fix it.”

I would nod and agree. I get that. Because answering the questions is not the hard part. The hard part is trying to figure out what to do about it. Even tougher is surrendering to the truth that there is nothing to do about it. Not in the self-help sense our culture invites us to consider. (You probably should know I don’t believe in self-help. That’s what started all my trouble in the first place, but that’s a story for another time.)

We don’t have the power or skill to truly transform ourselves. It is not even our work to do. Our work is to accept the invitation. To say Yes to the deep work of finding our sobriety and balance in God. Yes, to noticing those idols we depend on to satisfy, but never really do. Yes, to practicing silence and solitude in order to have “ears to hear,” really hear.

Simple… absolutely.
Easy… absolutely NOT.

For me, it’s worth it. Discovering who I am in order to be present to God, myself, and others is a balance I greatly desire. It’s my definition of sobriety. An answer to a prayer I prayed decades ago.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

I’m not sure if he knew it, but the effort of inviting God into the quiet of our souls to transform what we cannot is difficult, even painful at times. It takes what our world calls grit.

The kind of grit that led David to repentance after a bad choice.

I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing.

_{2 Samuel 24:24}

If we were to discuss all of this as we sipped our final drops of warm coffee, I would lean back and take a deep breath. Smiling at you as if I know something you may not know yet. Then I would say,

So keep going.
Keep seeking God in the silence and stillness.
For this is the place you discover God in you and in the world.

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